'Someone asked - How do I keep from getting mad'

Dr. Paul Haider
By Dr. Paul Haider
Spiritual Teacher and Master Herbalist

SOMEONE asked the other day, “How do I keep from getting mad at people and situations.” This is a common question and dilemma for lots of people… here is what I answered.


Many times we have repair people who don’t show up, people who don’t keep their word, people who say one thing and do another and this can really make us upset. And this cause havoc with our immune system, mind, and body.

What Can We Do?

Be Like Water - Water is flowing, water does not hold onto anything. It moves with force but does not cling. Water can carve away rocks on a beach with great force yet it can become very calm in moments. Be like water, go with the flow, exert power when needed… but let go of forcing anything.

Meditate - When things seem very upsetting then meditate for 1 hour in the morning and 1 hour in the evening. This will make the upsetting issue seem much less important. And soon the reality will hit you… there is nothing we can do… just let go.

Practice Forgiveness - When people make you feel hot and bothered then think of them as a small little child and remember to forgive. For as Jesus said, “Forgive them for they know not what they do.” And we are all children in one sense of another. And thus it’s important to forgive so we can move on with your life and not allow our blood pressure to go up. The next step is to forget about it and not bring it up again… and also to move on with other things.

See Everything as a Game - See the whole process as a game that’s being played out… and that game is not that important. It’s what we do with the game that’s important. To get all hot and bothered about something does not accomplish anything. Stand back and see the situation from a third party separated from the whole situation and notice all the things that are making you mad. And see how angry you are getting and notice this is not helping anything. Thus your anger might end… right then and there.

There are More Important Things in this World - Also, notice that in the world today there are much more important things going on that need our attention. Don’t allow your mind to follow this one string of thoughts that lead to anger… focus on other things. Other things which are much more important and will change the world in a great way.

Set Yourself Free - Anger is a prison of our own making. The prison bars of anger are our own thoughts, the space in our mind that we give angry thoughts creates the prison cell walls, and the window in this prison cell which leads to the outside world and freedom is surrender. Surrender creates grace, and that grace creates peace, and peace creates love for yourself… and love for yourself calms your mind, body, and spirit.

Remember - 

Labor to conquer yourself. This victory will assure you a brighter crown in heaven than they gain whose disposition is more amiable. — St. Ignatius of Loyola

If you judge people, you have no time to love them. — Mother Teresa

Many Blessings to Everyone!

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